6/10/2010

i went down to see kambri yesterday she was looking cute as always. addi helped me change a diaper she really is a sweetheart i have grown to love both though girls so much i decided i would try and be more respectful see if i could get anymore response from kalli to not avil i gave addi a bunch of my change and she asked me if i could set up her new swingset i said i would love to but i dont know where it is and i dont have my tools i whish i could go down there and do it for her. i guess someday it will be set up and maybe i will be able to push her on the swing. tears filled my eyes while i was holding kambri i was thinking if kalli could only see how much i would do for her and these girls she would want that in her life. but i guess she doesnt and i will have to take what i can get i cant wait to take kambri out and play with her when she gets older since i now know that i have everything i need in my life i want to give her the best life that i can i started writing her letters for when she is older on what happend and the things that i did wrong i hope she will see someday that i love her and addi and even her mom even though i made mistakes ones i have learned from but haunt me everyday happiness for me lasts about 3-6 hours a week right now pain lasts a lifetime but i have been hurt before and picked myself back up it usely only takes about 2 years or so for me to get over it i hope and pray that some kind of angel will make it come sooner this time.